There is no denying that sharing can be cathartic – sharing pictures, experiences, quotes, jokes, videos, music, gossip, articles, our friend’s sentiments, cute cats, movie reviews, gangnam parodies (somebody stop the madness!) and the list rolls on like the web of a digital whore’s fishnet stocking.
I admit, I am guilty of sharing and rather indulgent when it comes to divulging pieces of my life all over the web (I Googled myself to verify this). I consider myself the Mother Theresa of the social world. I’m a giver of likes, sympathetic nods, opinions, smiley faces, feedbacks of lol’s and awww’s. Friends begin to worry when I go quiet on their newsfeed. It’s how they know I’m alive and it’s my way of telling the world that I have a life.
However, as insecure as I am of my mortality and presence in this world, I do refrain from over-sharing, or as they call it “TMFI” – Too much facebook info. I notice that people are being increasingly heedless when it comes to filtering content. We share the same living space in the digital world. Approving a friend request is saying, “Hi. Welcome to the neighborhood “. Seeing a picture of your puke first thing in the morning is like me waking up to your visual and verbal garbage on my front porch – disgusting and totally unnecessary.
So to my friends on social media, here’s my personal guide on how not to fall into the trap of over-sharing. Behold, my Ten Commandments of Social Sharing.
1. Thou shalt not post gross shit.
As much as you love your kid, sharing is not caring when you post a picture of his/her diaper drenched in green slime. My Facebook wall is not a clinic and I am not certified to give an accurate diagnosis aside from “ewwwww!”.
2. Thou shalt not play social stigmata.
Please do not post a picture of a dead body, a dead pet, or flattened critters of roadkill – doesn’t matter how many likes and sad faces you get, you can’t bring them back from the dead!
3. Thou shalt not hijack.
Dear tag-abusers, Please do not take over my wall by tagging me in lame picture quotes, posting private messages on my wall like “So when are we gonna have that joint?” or tag me in a picture of your food. Sincerely, I am not a chocolate souffle.
4. Thou shalt not stir shit.
Causing drama on social media is a big no no, whether its getting back at a backstabbing friend or putting a shame hex on an ex. Especially awkward when blackmail worthy info and images are involved.
5. Thou shalt not be a religious fanatic.
In effect of a quote I read: Religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one and it’s fine to be proud of it, but please don’t whip it out in public and shove it down my throat. Hear ye hear ye!
6. Thou shalt not ask for likes.
I don’t care if you think your picture is super awesome or you just need personal validation for something witty you think you said, don’t private message me and ask me to like it. I will lose at least 70% respect for you.
7. Thou shalt not stalk openly.
We live in a one degree of separation digital realm. Over-indulging in the details of a stranger’s private life can be a little reminiscent of “The Hands That Rock The Cradle”. Fyi: “Follow Me” on twitter is not an invitation to use the person’s picture as your wallpaper and can be used against you in a court of law.
8. Thou shalt not post for the sake of posting.
It’s evident that you have nothing better to say so please refrain from proving how unintelligent and mundane you are by saying things like “Sigh”, “Hungry”, “FML”, “Urgh it’s Monday again.” – i.e stating the obvious.
9. Thou shalt practice some humility.
eg. An entire photo album dedicated to yourself entitled “Just Me”, filled with kissy photoshopped faces – vain much? Constant posts of your latest fashion buys, Michelin dining and social events – showy much? Picture of your boobs popping out by the pool bench, posing with one leg up, exhibiting an untended overspill of bush- too much!
10. Thou shalt not play word games.
Thinly veiled and suggestive status updates that begins with “Some people…” and ends with “YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!” – If you don’t have the guts to say it to the person’s face, please spare your innocent onlooking friends from your cowardly vent.
So help me God.