Leopard print skirt and a pen for a spear, I’ve been job hunting. Not in a shameless hard-core “HIRE ME” sandwich board hung around my neck walking down Swanston Street at peak hour kind of way, but in a I’m-black-listed-on-seek.com.au-for-harassment kind of way. As far as effort goes, I’ve sent out so many resumes that I pretty much spammed myself with confirmation emails. Once, I received a rejection letter in my inbox merely 5 minutes from hitting the send button. True story. All I can say is, it sure does bruise ones ego enough to cause major mojo dysfunction.
Needless to say, I don’t take rejection well. Somehow the wheels in motion slowed down and at one point, I was staring at a blank slate, at the brink of 1st world depression. Where to, what to, how the hell to now?! Truth be told, things have always happened for me serendipitously and I didn’t expect the job market here to be so…..how do I say this, shit? Maybe things just came too easily for me in the past. Maybe I’ve just not been trying hard enough, sitting idly in this state of wretched comfort, I’ve gained nothing but 5 pounds.
Fun fact: Did I mention that I have 32 different versions of my resume saved in a folder titled “ARGHHH”?
A funny thing happens when you become idle. You forget what it was like in the working world, you start to doubt your own capabilities which once was the corner stone of your self-worth, and your dreams start shrinking to the size of failure-proof normality. Your dreams of being something larger than life becomes one that’s smaller to strife. Thing is, I could be and do anything, if only I knew what it was. Past few months have been one of self-reflection. The experience has been humbling to say the least. I’ve never been unemployed. Moving cities meant moving my life and lifting my spirit nowadays means lifting it from a glass. I’m a dole application away from being a borderline alcoholic. (dear future employer who decided to check out the url on my resume, I’m just kidding, of course.)
I’ve painted out a rather bleak image for you haven’t I? It’s not all bad to be honest. I still have my freelance but I do miss the sound of staplers going off, using a printer and getting a monthly paycheck. Those leather jackets on Asos aren’t going to buy themselves yaknow!
So the hunt continues, now in increasing velocity and desperation. I’m setting things in motion, writing out my daily agendas in the morning over coffee and ticking it off through the day before tea time. Through it all, I’ve maintained a somewhat foolish optimism (The Secret on replay kind of way) that I’ll land myself a job soon, by hook or by crook, I’m gonna fake it till I make it!