Shopping thrills & spills

My brother hates shopping. Any form of it sends him into a grumpy and monosyllabic state of verbal spite. It saddens and baffles me that anyone could hate shopping as much as he does, especially since its a necessity. We all have to shop, whether we like it or not. I know not to drag him out with me on shopping sprees unless I need his labor power to help carry groceries – and even then, it takes a lot of persistence, bartering and begging.

But its not just him who despises the S word, its all the men in my family. Which makes me wonder if we as women are responsible for this phenomenon. I can see how it happens though. I too am rather put off when I see swarms of women milling around like grubs, grabbing things for the sake of it, not really knowing what they want to begin with. The word “Sale” sends women into a frenzy. 

There’s a sense of desperation and comical absurdity in the air when you see beautifully made up women behave grotesquely, eyes filled with palpable greed, sweating from digging through piles and piles of discounted items in a basket full of retail arousal. Boyfriends and husbands take refuge by the sidelines, sitting patiently on the sofa, leaning on the walls, waiting for their female counterparts to try on entire ensembles of outfits – jolting awake from their state of daze when their names are called out from the front line of the changing rooms.  “ALEX COME HERE!” resembles “FIRE IN THE HOLEEEE!”

I love a great buy, new boots and a nice leather bag. But the best type of shopping for me is the weekly groceries. I almost always know what I want. Nothing goes to waste. There’s always a hungry mouth to feed. I don’t need to ask if it will make my ass look fat, I know it will if its main ingredient is butter and cream. So that’s a no brainer, no need for second opinion. I can also take as long as I want, browsing the aisles without feeling self-conscious and getting hounded by sales assistants. But now, I have to deal the unpleasantness of my brother dragging his feet behind me with upmost reluctance when he’d rather be home browsing youtube.

So yes, I do believe we are the reason why they want to be as far removed as possible from any form of shopping experience. Perhaps one day he’ll realize how lucky he is to have a sister who cooks for him. Till then, he can continue rolling his eyes and grumbling under his breath as I walk through the detergent aisle – for the third time. 

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