The true tragedy in adultery

Adultery. The word itself  evokes the kind of pain that can only be felt from experience. For others, it is a reminder of what could have been. Surviving only meant standing humbled in a rubble of destruction. 

We dream of The One, the one person that will complete and make us whole. The love of our life. And when we meet that person, we expect perfection. To most parts, that’s never possible because perfection, as wel all know, is a figment of our imagination. And so when their annoying habits and traits set in, we question our love. Naturally.

Am I with this person because of love, convenience, comfort, security or plain solitary boredom? Am I in this because we have formed an economic unit and its just too inconvenient to part ways? Where’s the passion, the element of surprise and the damn remote? Living with someone seems to send the relationship on a fast track to predictable meals, vacant conversations and obligatory sex; like a glass of wine left out too long, stale and bitter from its unchanged condition.

So I question, does “forever after” still exist? Or did it ever? My grandparents were together for 50 over years. But then again, things were very different. Cheating on your spouse meant fashioning an elaborate getaway, carefully planned through pigeon notes. Now we can feed our restlessness through the internet. Picking up a potential partner for a brief tryst can begin with a shameless “poke” on facebook, sexual innuendos on whatsapp, escapades on skype, and as untraceable as a deleted DM on twitter. So much temptation without even having to leave the house.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m contemplating committing adultery, let alone condone it. Although the reality of cheating spouses is rampant to the state of normality, I still do dream the monogamous dream, pining for love that will endure a life time, an unbreakable bond. My faith remains unshaken, despite witnessing cheating partners who continue to flee from the scene of a monotonous chime to carry out meaningless flings.

Modern day love has it that we are not built to stay with one partner and so adultery takes its natural course to somewhat “sustain” the relationship and satiate ones need for excitement. After all, variety is the spice of life.  Or so the argument goes. But what constitues as adultery? Emotional verses physical infidelity is an endless debate. To me, its as simple as this – emotionally driven contraptions of mass seduction is like mental penetration, hence is as accountable as the act itselfBut as I see relationships crumble around me on facebook and gossip magazines, I can only conclude that infidelity is corrosive. It shatters trust, encourages lying and the momentary pleasure it brings is rarely worth the pain left in its wake.

Sure, monogamy isn’t what it used to be, despite having a nice ring to it (pun intended). But if you choose to live a life filled with false affairs, you will never truly share a life with someone, and that in itself is the true tragedy in adultery.

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5 comments

  1. I really like this post and can relate to the questions. I wrote a blog questioning some of the same things at http://adayinyvetteslife.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/monogamy-is-it-real/

    I would love for you to take a look at it. Thank you for your insight. 🙂

  2. I do like the way you have framed this difficulty and it really does offer me personally some fodder for consideration. On the other hand, through just what I have observed, I simply just trust as other feed-back pile on that folks stay on issue and in no way get started upon a soap box regarding some other news du jour. All the same, thank you for this exceptional point and while I can not agree with it in totality, I respect the point of view.

  3. Spot on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  4. “Happily Forever After’ is false advertising! NO ONE is happy all the time, regardless of their relationship status.
    Great post, Masked Crusader.

  5. […] The true tragedy in adultery (skybambi.wordpress.com) […]

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