I don’t usually buy “Women’s magazines”, but out of sheer restlessness from lining up at the cash register, I reached out for the magazine rack impulsively and grabbed one. I won’t mention the name, all I can say is I got suckered in to the marketing blurb on the cover in italics “For women, by women”. Money could have been better spent on a weekly tram ticket. After only a few page turns I realised that while I am in possession of a vagina and relatively cup worthy boobs, I was just not getting the magazine. There was absolutely no literary or visual chemistry whatsoever. Which naturally lead me to the conclusion that – I am not a woman, as proven rightfully so by such Women’s magazine.
I don’t enjoy reading literature in a bath tub adorned with candles.
I don’t own a hand-crafted Louis Vuitton shoulder bag, and I still call them shoulder bags.
I don’t understand why you need so many fake diamantes on the shell of your mobile phone.
I don’t need to see stretch marks on Kim Kardashian’s thighs to feel better about myself.
I don’t need to learn how to wear my hair from day to night because, well, I don’t have much of it.
I don’t think its empowering to feature the top 10 sexiest women of 2011, as chosen by men. (wtf)
I don’t think its nice to feature Lesbian’s titled “Lipstick Lesbians” and then advertise Revlon’s ColorBurst Lipgloss on the next page.
I don’t have any flowy skirts to hide my “Thunder Thighs” or ruffled tops to make my boobs look bigger.
I hardly think your Hot or Not lists and Starstruck vs Starsuck can be considered as articles. P.s Why so bitchy?
I don’t find embarrassing stories from your female readers remotely entertaining or educational.
I cringe at your chart of 10 other places to kiss him other than his mouth.
I don’t need your 3 essential tips to “Taking Time To Be Me”. I think a good start would be to put down this magazine.
Yup, definitely not a woman.