Too Drunk To F*ck

Sorry to mislead you with the heading. No cause for arousal here.  I’m simply quoting Nouvelle Vague’s cover by The Dead Kennedys. Been drinking a lot lately ( 18 years in ) and whilst I do not share the sentiments of this song, I am commemorating my Five Glass Max nights with this number as the official soundtrack of my attempt. To specify, five glasses apply to wine only; no hard liquor and to avoid post-drunk gut guilt, strictly no beer!

Am also going to try cap my smoking to a minimum. Should I conquer this attempt, I will progress to “Five Sticks Max”. Cos if I continue on this road of phlegm and spew, I’ll have to adopt the new theme song “To Dead To F*ck”, and between you and me, I intend to live at least another 20 odd years, even if it means living in sobriety! *touch wood

Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank 16 beers
And I started up a fight

But now I am jaded
You’re out of luck
I’m rolling down the stairs
Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
I’m too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
To fuck

I like your stories
I love your gun
Shooting out truck tires
Sounds like loads and loads of fun

But in my room
Wish you were dead
You ball like the baby
In Eraserhead

Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
It’s all I need right now
Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
I’m sick soft gooey and cold
Too drunk to fuck

I’m about to drop
My head’s a mess
The only salvation is
I’ll never see you again

You give me head
It makes it worse
Take out your fuckin’ retainer
Put it in your purse

I’m too drunk to fuck
You’re to drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
It’s all I need right now Oh baby
I’m melting like an ice cream bar
Oh baby

And now I got diarrhea
Too drunk to fuck
Yeah, Yeah
Yeah, Yeah
Yeah, Yeah
Oooohhh

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