11 things for 2011

In response to Sam Davidson: “What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?”


Here are my 11 things:

*in no order of importance


ONE

I will stop smoking.

It will save me more money – to spend on alcohol.

At the risk of adopting the stigma that comes with broken resolutions, I no longer want to smoke as of Jan 2011 *bites nails*.  It’s not gonna be easy; I will probably put on a few pounds here and there, what with the supposed fluctuating weight problems that nicotine legends foretell. I will probably also be grumpy and give evil eye glares to smokers around me – thou shalt not tempt the weak!


TWO

I will be honest.

It will help me sleep better.

I don’t want to sugar coat things. If you come to me for advice, I will tell you as it is. If your ass looks fat in those jeans, be prepared for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Too much sugar didn’t do any good for anyone. “What you did was WRONG. No I do not sympathize. You’ve got some nerve missy!” All those things I wish I said to your face but held back to “save face”. So yes, you’ve been warned. Honesty comes from within, otherwise we make lies of what is around us and I do not want to be part of that.


THREE

I will stop postponing.

It will help me get around – on the road.

I no longer want to be without my drivers license. It’s getting inconvenient and a tad embarrassing. Once I get back to Australia, I’m going to reclaim my license and go on road trips. No more scary Malaysian motorcyclists and angry road raged drivers to keep this chick away from the wheels!


FOUR

I will start saying NO (stop being a people-pleaser)

It will keep me from being in situations I don’t want to be in.

Stop saying yes to whatever is asked of me. No I don’t want to wait an hour for you to get your hair done. I’d rather not write that article, free of charge. I’ll pass on that invite to help your mum reprogram her computer. I’ll still say yes to some things but don’t push it or I’ll flash you my “NO THANKS” card.


FIVE

I will stop forgetting to keep in touch with my family.

It will strengthen our relationship.

I don’t want to drift further apart from my family. Will call, email and sms each one of them at least once a week. It takes two hands to clap so my dear family, if you’re reading this post, kindly take note of this!


SIX

I won’t be so hard on myself.

It will help give ‘me’ a chance.

I will I no longer want to stand on the sideline wondering if I could have done it – just because I don’t have enough confidence in myself. If friends say it’s a good idea, then perhaps it is worth pursuing. No more shaking my head when I’m given credit, compliments or encouragement. Damn Asian condition. Dad you’ve humbled me to the point of diffidence. (6.5 – I probably should stop blaming my dad for my own issues)


SEVEN

I will eliminate toxic “friends” on my social networks.

It will help me make more space and time for others.

I will not continue to follow people on twitter/facebook based on former acquaintance because I no longer want to know your entire schedule like how busy you are, how many meetings you’re going to, what you’re eating, where you are, which socialite you’re sipping champagne with, what you’re wearing, how much you’ve achieved – self-exhibitionism and gloating is  simply pathetic when I already know what you’re really made of. To see more of it next year is just not good for my health. Time for some social debauch detox!


EIGHT

I will stop paying for your bill.

It will save me more money – to spend on alcohol.

I will no longer be financially supporting leeches. Short payers, you’ll be left to fend for your own bill because as of 2011 onwards, I will pay as I go. I am not curmudgeon with my pocket change but my generosity has reached its toll and I am putting my foot down on your liver damage and my piggy bank plumage.


NINE

I will stop putting myself in unpleasant situations and around mind numbing invididuals.

It will prevent me from saying such lines like “Well that’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never see again…”

I will not put up with mind-numbing conversations out of politeness – no matter how much alcohol you feed me. If you don’t have basic social skills like reading people’s body language (slumping, yawning, distracted expressions…etc), then I shall walk away from you hogging the conversation on all-things-you to pour another glass of wine, only to never return. Ever.


TEN

I don’t want to become a gossip girl.

It will help me spend more time talking about things that actually matter.

I don’t want to be all up in other people’s business. It’s pretty pointless talking about other people’s shit. Sitting around bitching about it just fuels the sick obsession of feeding on the circumstantial declivity of other people’s misery. If you really care, then go talk to them yourself.


ELEVEN

I need to stop being a diet junkie.

It will help me learn how to enjoy the food I want to eat.

I want to stop my carb-conscious ways – weighing myself at the end of each day agonizing over that damn piece of bread or plate of pasta. Everything in moderation. Going to discontinue consuming my delusional body image with fear. *press play*


I Am The Body Beautiful by Salt & Pepper (song inspired by Mr.Body Beautiful Jinn of Triad)


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