No one is safe from the act of betrayal.
I admit, I had my moments of restlessness; the wandering eye, the somewhat harmless flirtations exchanged through sms, emails, underlying messages, spoken words, body language …… never the actual act of going through with it. But the guilt still hinged on the very existence of the racing heart, sweaty palms and fluttering butterflies in the gut. Is emotional cheating worse than physical? What is physical anyway; a kiss, a blow, a fuck or any and every exchange of bodily fluid that excludes the act of sharing a straw? It’s subjective. How far would you go before you draw the line and when you do, is it too late? What is the moral yardstick that constitutes cheating, the ultimate betrayal in a relationship? – or even, a friendship.
Recently I have witnessed such unfaithfulness. A friend getting back with an ex whilst starting a new relationship, the loyal lover who resorted to a casual fling before the end of the relationship, a confused and reckless child playing puppet master to her horde of admirers and the lover of many who’s monogamous to no one but himself. When advice is sought after, it is difficult to take an unbiased viewpoint on the scenario. I try to put myself in both positions and I struggle between giving an honest perspective and a sympathetic outlook.
If you love someone but not enough, and its time to let go, do you try to ease the pain or do you cut it off with a blade of total honesty on the basis that “you’ve got to be cruel to be kind”? It’s difficult to be objective when it comes to matters of the heart. When is the right time to let go? Do we selfishly cling on to someone we no longer love, for the sake of companionship – and – convince ourselves that we do indeed need the person rather than pursue the pure intentions of the heart?
Love continues to baffle and challenge my ideals. There is no fine line, only variations of grey areas, constantly being challenged between the obvious black and the obscure white complexities that makes us human.
Take a deep breath, its about to get real bumpy and you’re going to need more than your reasons and shield of defense to argue with the righteousness of what should could have been “Love”.