“Type”


I don’t live my life to spite you. I live my life in spite of you. 

I have been queried lately: “Why do you blog?” In regards to multiple blog entries, which are quite personal, I can see where the curiosity stems from. Some might misinterpret my intentions. Yes sometimes when I vent, I am speaking to the person (that which I can never say out loud) assuming he or she is reading it but let me make one thing clear. I am not a bitter and spiteful person. When I vent, I leash out on my blog and if you happen to chance on it, well then I hope you take away my experience with you and avoid making the same mistakes. Some call it self-exhibitionism but I see it as self-reflection.
See the thing is, I have never wanted to be one of those friends. Those who are self-absorbed and have mastered the art of attention diverting. Diverting back to themselves that is. The one who is nothing except her constant strife and vexation. I was like that during the better years of my teenage prima donna stage. Now I know better so I have developed an inner verbal watchdog to sift through my thoughts and censor myself accordingly. But when it comes to being honest with myself without the guilt of burdening another person or the fear of scaring my friends away with the intensity (and often foreign dilemmas), I talk about it to myself via my blogs and journals instead of regurgitating, unremittingly, to my friends. 

So back to me venting or in this case, sharing. As you must have noticed by now, my blog has gone through a brief hiatus. Much has changed since being home. I am no longer the domestic queen of the house. For now my sense of responsibility goes as far as rostering my nightly networking events (see social parties). After all, it is an undeniable fact that I am an out and proud social whore.

 


I do miss the meditative nirvana I reach through cleaning and the inhaling of domestic solvents/detergents that come with it. The total satisfaction after a session just makes me want to fan myself on a porch with a cigarette in one hand saying “Oh my…..”.

How did I manage to lose that climax of domestic satisfaction?

On a separate vein of topic: since being out and single, friends and randoms alike, have been pressing me on what my type is or if I have a type at all. Some of which have offered to set me up on blind dates and what not. Apparently I am making the mission quite impossible – thank God. I’ve been less than forthcoming with “the truth” and I can see that the old “oh, I don’t really have a type” rag thin excuse is wearing out on my concerned (or rather, bored and amused) friends.


Seeing that I haven’t been single long enough to ponder over this since mid 06, it is difficult to say if I do have a type or if indeed, my type does exist. I personally think that commuting between Melbourne and KL has greatly biased my preferences and type(s), and greatly decreased my unrealistic expectations in regards to the current social milieu. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I was out on a date. When it comes to same sex encounters, one would have to make it quite clear when an appointment for lunch spells “I wanna eat you”. Cos well, we’re girls and girls go for lunches and din din’s all the time. Surely I don’t expect someone to go “Hey, wanna date?” That’s a bit too in my face for my liking. But I must say, I do miss going on dates. I miss the butterflies and anticipation of the unknown.

So what IS my type?

Well, I think its safe to say that I can’t do men.

Tried my hardest – * squeezes eyes and scrunches face *.
Sorry nope. Can’t mate. I just can’t psyche myself up to be excited around them.

So this narrows down my ‘type’. 

Having said that, ironically, I like women to have similar personalities to confident men. And by that I mean masculine traits but not the physical aspect mind you. I also tend to fall for girls who are considerate, courteous, witty, ambitious, with a healthy appetite for adventure that ventures out the four walls of the bedroom. After all, there is more to life than just sex. Oh and having said that, cuddles! I love me some good cuddles.

Looks wise I can be quite accommodating but I know something is up when my heart pulsates when I look into someone’s eyes. Seeing that I don’t get nervous or anxious with new people, I use that as a tool of elimination. Of course looks do play a part. I can’t say that I could easily look pass an edgy girl bursting with character, fully packaged tall, tan and lovely. But seeing that most girls back here aren’t tall or tan, I’ll just have to go with lovely. And yes, that itself does not elaborate on a type.

It’s difficult to determine if I have a ‘type’ seeing that being single and happy just reinstates the fact that I don’t feel a need to want another person – at this point. Or in a more optimistic vein of perspective, that perhaps I do not have a type after all, which makes it all the more challenging finding a certain someone. Till then, I should go back to being the domesticated diva I once was where I can achieve shameless climax that won’t require any form of self-stimulation or the presence of another.

A wet cloth in one hand and a duster in the other – single hood, hear me roar!

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5 comments

  1. TheLingInBling · · Reply

    Hi,My friend passed me the link to your blog and I am hooked! Good stuff 🙂 Keep on writing.- Ling p.s KL’s G-scene is so dead. Have you been out to any events yet?

  2. Whaley Bear · · Reply

    Hey saw you around BoatHouse area some time last week….how have you been?Cheers!

  3. Jhobie ZoN Jhobe · · Reply

    Hey,You are single again? Oh well… Thought I visit your blog during the little times I visit mine & Karen's. I saw the last msg you left on mine. Thanks! Didn't know you actually visits my unsubstantial blog… =pCheerio,DL

  4. Ling – Not so much into the scene here but I heard Mini O is full of it. Whaley: You saw me and didn’t say hi? Considering we’ve never met, you qualify as a stalker….haha i kid i kid. Next time say hi 🙂 DL: What do u mean again? Oh pls. My last rel lasted 15 months. I think I am rather committed in the relationship department no?

  5. Jhobie ZoN Jhobe · · Reply

    In her chinese singlish slang, DL says:” Orh…”

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