Have YOU called Jenny yet?

Being Asian means sometimes being the butt of the joke, on all account of your ancestors. You can’t help but have a name like Loh Fat, Fook Yu, or Hymen Wang, or Poon Tang. Okay, the last one I sorta made up.

But if someone calls you fat, it better be a part of your honorific chinese epithet.

Spring is here. Heat waves are rising from the buried earth while the descend of deadly sun rays from the blazing sun make its way unto my anemic winter skin. Naturally, this is the season of skank (and I’m not referring to a steady-paced dance performed to reggae music). I’m referring to your regular Hilton and Lohan inspired teens, strutting out in their latest Supre catalogue and wearing enough make up to put KISS to shame.

Aside from being responsible for the re-emergence of the nu-breed yuppies and puppies of the aispirants to the D.U.I throne (seems like Jail is the latest trend), this is the season that will have you loathing your overlooked winter curves. Like it or not. No longer can you hide yourself beneath layers of garments. Not when you’re standing next to girls in their short shorts (as if shorts aren’t short enough?!), you don’t want to look like a snowball standing next to the glory of the leggy bronze. Girls wearing close-to-nothing-singlets, strands of strings holding itself together for dear boob humility. Honey, if the straps consist less than a full thread, it might serve better as dental floss – same goes with that g-string.

Don’t get conned into various starvation and H2O diets. Try not to get dizzy with the many various forms and process of gestations. They are in your magazines, on the 6 O’clock news, in between programs on television, 10 different diets in one magazine. These money making schemes will stop at nothing to play with your insecurities and offer some quick relief gimmicks to rid you of your years accumulated fat rolls. Its so passe.

Seeing images of lanky, slinky, skanky girls running around in ads on tv and billboards day in and day out, naturally we get suckered into diets and gym memberships that won’t see the light of day. Why call Jenny? Ms.Craig and her miracle weight loss menu will not work if you have a passion for good food and god bless, good beer. Is it really worth it to squeeze yourself into your little Mariah Carey skirt from the Summer of dream lover (come rescue me) in ‘once-upon-a-time’? You might have been a 6 back in “99 but good luck if you think its worth testing out the sturdiness of your rib cage.

Eat, live and be happy knowing that feeling good in your skin is one of the most important thing in the world. It means loving you for you and not for all the reasons you were told by others. It reminds you to get out of your head, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and to claim and take responsibility for each day that you live.


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