What can you say to someone who accuses you of never having loved them? When in fact you did and still do in some ways, and despite giving your last breath to a withering relationship, still can not convince the other person just how much you did love them. I have no answer as to why it only took me such a short time to get over it. Perhaps because I felt like I was ploughing sand. Making something grow out of something sterile.
We tried so hard and it took me a lot of courage and strength to be the one who had to break the destructive pattern and succession of heartache that has interlaced into our once flawless relationship. It hurts and she might not understand now, or ever but I know deep down inside, we saved each other from allot of pain and disappointment. Things took a turn after Europe and nothing is worse than being in a relationship that reminisces about the past.
If I have ever learned anything from my four years with Flexi, it is that you should never cling on to anything that is dead and gone. Love is never enough to make a relationship work. You can love someone and not be able to be with them because sometimes, loving someone too much will destroy them and yourself. Sometimes you have to realize it before its too late and let go before it consumes you and you no longer know yourself and the monster you have become.
I’m sorry you still love me and I too, wish you never did. I feel your pain and just because I don’t allow most people to see me broken, doesn’t mean that I’m not. After everything that I have experience in my life, I have learned how to heal faster. Prolonged pain is unnecessary.
Moving on to other areas of my life, I decided on Thursday that it was time to finally get the Bambi tattoo I wanted for so long and to stop procrastinating and take a risk. So this is the tattoo on my forearm (credit goes to Ju for photoshopping the image clearer and sharper).
The tattoo was copied from a pendent that Ju gave me in a care package before she went back to Canada. It came in a box and the pendent was just part of it. (Long overdue pictures but this seems to be the right blog to post them).
sticky notes on the front covers.
(One which I have yet to return for her lil project of 25 things)
Gypo and I have been seeing much of each other since Sunday. Walking through the city, having drinks at cookie and lounge, hunting for fans and so on. I’ve been playing the tour guide to Melbourne city. We get along very well and have heaps of good laughs. The most memorable to date was when we went to the Victoria Market Night Festival on Wednesday. We’re still getting to know each other and whatever it is, I know we’d make great friends so at the end of the day, meeting her is a positive thing.
Gypo cooked for me last night and it was delicious! Pictures don’t do it justice and I’m not bias because it really was yum!
Doesn’t it just look so damn delicious?
Mango, Zuchinni, Eggplant, Corriander, Chilli Flakes, Pepper, Salt, Lemon,
Garlic on Salmon.
KinkyPugKevin if ur reading this, stop sending me drunk msgs u weirdo!!!