The “V” Word

They call it Valentines. They make it expensive. They make it romantic. They make it “special”. They made it. U pay it. U live it. Victims of consumerism.

I know it is a utopian visionary to think that everyday should be valentines day. It isn’t. So why should this day be any different?

Everything is played up to build up expectations and anticipations from your partner and either way, you’ll think it is the summation of your relationship. An emotional yardstick that will inevitably be used to tally up comparisons with ex’s, potentials, dates and so on.

Is it worth it?

You’re just setting yourself up for disaster. What might be a great Valentines would just be a reminder the day after that the next one won’t be till a year away and the days ahead will be dull once again. Unless you’re one of the lucky few who gets romanced every day. In which case, might as well be dying of diabetes.

No no no. This is not the ranting of a single girl being bitter and lonely. Although allot has happened in the relationship department and I find myself alone once again. I wish she saw it coming because I did and now that it has happened, I wonder if I could have done more to prevent it.

I feel myself changing. I’m feeling the earth move beneath my feet and the air weighing down on me. The gravity of change. There is no stopping it. I wonder if it is her that has changed. Has she squeezed the last breath out of me? Am I not being as patient and understanding before? Questions that needs answering are always realised too late.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I may not know what I want right now but I know what I don’t want.
I don’t want to hurt anymore!

Happy Wednesday (Tuesday if you are in The States) and don’t let this day sum up your love life!!!
Celebrate love and not the day itself.

He/She is more than a box of chocolates or dinner for 2.
As for me, for now, I’ll be having dinner for 1 thanks.

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8 comments

  1. Anonymous · · Reply

    I just thought I would write a quick note to tell you how much I enjoyed reading your blog. Before I say anything else, understand this…I HATE reading these pages with a passion, simply because just about everyone is either shallow, stupid, vulgar (not that being vulgar is always bad) or morons. Most of the time, they are all the above mentioned… Once I began reading yours, however, I was drawn in right to the very end. Very captivating.Anyway, I hope this message finds you in good health, that is unless you don’t feel like feeling well… 😉 Take care, keep in touch and best of luck with your studies!A for Aaron.

  2. My name rhymes with 'poo' · · Reply

    I guess you don’t want the box of Smarties I bought you that would have lead to a dinner for 2 at McDonalds. I was going to let you supersize and everything. Way to stomp your foot on the festivities.Also, I can’t wait for your box to take care of me. I may or may not have read your message wrong.Chin up, Fobby. Someone in Vancouver misses your sarcasim.

  3. Tersh, i didn’t know.. Hope u tell me some day 🙂 *big hugs*

  4. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I may not know what I want right now but I know what I don’t want.I don’t want to hurt anymore!” …..right now im feeling exactly that. i hate that im not appreciated…’im sorry i fucked up again’, they say…AGAIN!? THATS RIGHT AGAIN…fuck that and fuck giving you heart to that one person who takes you for granted..i pray we find someone who appreciates us for who we are..we have each other and maybe just a handful of others but sometimes we drift apart and you have noone but yourself to confide in…ANYHOOO btw..ill join you at that dinner for one and we’ll make it 2..love you longest time -slobbery licks

  5. Thanks guys. Once again reminded that how blessed I am to have friends who care for me. I’m working things out now and its complicated. Been very emotional lately but it feels good to breakdown again. Perhaps this is what the soul needs to heal itself.I relate to how you feel Slanty. Wish it was easy to just take back your heart. It only hurts because we still love them and it hurts even more when you realise that it won’t work and they are not good for you. But anyway, its not the end of the world. Never is. Life moves on and the important thing is you have family and friends to push you through. Big Bambino Hug

  6. *big hugs for the both of you*

  7. A real one would suffice. Thanks Chino. You do give super hugs. And yaknow what? I realised…My vocab is all out of wack! Nice of my readers not to mention.

  8. Anonymous · · Reply

    Disheartening but sometimes true. I liked Valentine’s day much more in grammar school.One of these years, though, V-day will pleasantly surprise you, Tersh.For now, treat yourself to a box of See’s candy, wrap your sexa self in a giant red ribbon, and puke pink hearts on Hallmark’s doorstep. You’ll look lovely. Kerry & I would take you out and show you a good time, but we won’t be in Europe til June.-Amy

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